I ♥ Me!

        I thought back to what had happened earlier that day. After Tani realized that i was going to Freddy’s house before our big day…She got…VERY angry! I can still remember every line and freckle in Freddy’s face as i handed him the note, told him i couldnt say anymore, and walked back to the car to Tani’s astonished look. “Wow! I thought he was actually coming with us! I truly thought you were crazy for a minute there!” I chuckled “No way Sis! I wouldnt let him stand in the way of our party day! I specifically designed today for us!” I said smiling. “Either way,” She said frowning, “I dont think that this is how you wanted your day to start. Something is telling me that Mom had something to do with this. I dont know why i feel like that but i do.” -Sigh- “When are you going to understand that life isnt always about yourself and sometimes people make decisions all by themselves WITHOUT the help of there mothers!” She chuckled a little and remained quiet for awhile. In her silence, for some reason, i kept looking in my rear-view mirror towards Freddy’s house. As if he would appear out of nowhere with all the answers that i needed.

        It wasnt until we were at the Icecream Shoppe that Tani spoke again, “You do realize that its almost December and we’re getting ice cream right?” I chuckled…”Of course you Twit! When is it not fun to eat ice cream?” “Haha! When your tongue turns blue and falls off because its negative 30 degrees outside!” We both laughed, ordered our ice cream and climbed back into the car. Once we were finished with our ice cream Tani turned to me and asked one of the last things i ever expected her to grasp. “You like him dont you? I can see it in your eyes when you talk about him. And when you see him you light up! But when you gave him that paper today…You seemed so sad and down? Why did you give him something that upset you to say? Even if it was necessary. I dont know what the note said, but i can promise you that you shouldnt have given him it.” With my mouth gaping a little i turned towards her and finally replied, “For one, How do you know so much about boys?! And two! WHO ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT! There are like 5 BILLION ‘Him’s’ out there! Which one are you talking about?!” “Freddy of course!” She said with a giggle. I didnt reply right away and i thought she noticed, but if she did she didnt comment. “You wouldnt understand Tani. You may know alot for your age but you’ll never understand the relationship problems until you experience them yourself.” When she caught on to how my tone changed she quickly dropped the subject and remained silent. Not wanting to ruin the day any further. “If you want Emily, we can go home and talk about it. Its a little better to sit there and talk rather than in a cramped car.” -Sigh- “But that would ruin our ‘date’ ” “But we have ‘dates all the time! Just about every time that mom tells you to go hang out with your friends actually! Why is that? Why dont you like to hang out with your friends?” Why does she ask all the questions that i would rather keep to myself!!!? I screamed at myself. “Thats another thing you’ll just have to experience for yourself dear. But maybe we can go home. Im kinda feeling a little tired all the sudden.” “You mean.. “Even though i love you, you’re getting on my nerves and i want to be alone?” ” We both laughed at just how extremely close she was to the truth. I put it in drive and headed towards home.

      Once i arrived home, i found that Freddy had wrote me back and that mom had the envelope in her hand waiting for me to get back to the house. “Mom! What is that!?” I screamed at her. “Its for you Dear! From a VERY handsome fellow.” I snatched the envelope from here and trudged up the stairs to my room, Tani close on my heels. As i got closer to my room i stopped and turned around to look at my 10 year old sister. “Im sorry but we’ll talk later. Go help mom with the kitchen and maybe we can have a Pizza Bits for lunch!” Mmmm! Was all you heard as she ran back down the stairs. I rushed inside my room and locked the door behind me. I slid onto my bed and stared at the small white envelope that held his reply.

     Dear My Truest Emily,

I know that my problems are very different than yours! For example, I dont think i could life without my father! He’s my hero! So i have no clue what you go through there. But as of you being alone while you DO go through it is unacceptable! I want to be there for you so bad that it sickens me sometimes to know that you are at home by yourself probably thinking of what life used to be like before he left on that drive and ended up in that ditch. I know that it was an accident and that its VERY rude of me to bring it up now. But i need you to know that i will always be in the shadows waiting for you to finally come to grips with this silly nonsense of writing notes back and forth! What? Are we in 2nd grade again? Please! Understand that i will always be here and that i want and need you in my life. If i know that you are safe without a doubt in my mind i may be able to let you live your life to the fullest! But i know that you’re not safe because of your mind! Emily i do love you! -Sigh- I guess thats all i really needed to say for you to understand all of my feelings and for you to realize that my feelings are rational and emotional! I would never hurt you Emily. I need you to realize that! I will always love you. Until my heart stops beating.       

                                                                         -Yours Forever- 

                                                                              -Freddy-

        I began to cry as i realized that he wasnt giving up. I stood up from my bed and threw the note in the trash. Then i quickly ran over and snatched it up and hid in my dresser so no one could find it. “I guess its time to face him head on. No backing out now! Even if i do have to walk!” I headed down the stairs and at the last step, mom was waiting with the keys. “Did you read it before you gave it to me?” I asked through a thick throat. “No Dear, I just knew that you’d change your mind with such a cute young man. Its in a mother’s nature you know.” I tried to smile as i took the keys and hugged her. “Thanks mom.” And i headed out the door towards the car and floored it towards Freddy’s house. Hoping he’d be home!